2024 United States presidential election (Cyclox)

The 2024 United States presidential election was the 60th quadrennial presidential election, held on Tuesday, November 5, 2024. The Gossipy Old Woman ticket of Bernadette Wood and Murkchin Polycule defeated the incumbent Democrats, John Kerry and Kamala Harris, and the Republican ticket, Nikki Haley and Mike Pence in a landslide, winning 50 out of 50 states, along with the District of Columbia.

Previously, in the 2022 midterm elections, Gossipy Old Woman candidates had won control of the House, winning all 435 seats. However, Jeff Van Drew, who had initially switched parties to be elected as a Gossipy Old Woman, who had already switched from the Republican Party, and the Democratic Party before that, switched to the Libertarian Party, leaving the Gossipy Old Woman Party with only 434 seats going into the 2024 elections. They had also swept the Senate elections, winning all 34 seats up, including defeating incumbent Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer, leaving the Democrats with 36 seats, Republicans with 30, and Independents with 2. After the 2022 elections, Democratic senator Amy Klobuchar became the new Majority Leader.

One reason for Wood's landslide victory was the failure of the Biden administration to form a 6/3 Commission to investigate the events of the June 3rd Purge. The Gossipy Old Woman Party passed a 6/3 Commission bill through the House after they won control in 2022, but a combined Republican-Democratic filibuster stopped its passage through the Senate, and President Joe Biden announced that he would veto any commission bill even if it passed through Congress. This was considered a contributing factor to his loss in the Democratic primary to John Kerry. The overwhelming public support for a commission and the opposition to the commission by the two contemporary parties contributed to the Gossipy Old Woman landslide victory in 2024, as they won all 435 House seats and won a filibuster-proof majority in the Senate.

Famously, the Gossipy Old Woman Party's slogan was used constantly in this election: "You remind me of a gossipy old woman. Do you always spread/start gossip. Believe me if they were dating you would never have pictures, they would hide their relationship. Friends will just laugh together and Allow every picture you want. Click away Trumper."